Welcome Brother Elf.
Let me begin by saying this film has the best original soundtrack, period.
If I haven't sold you on watching the film yet take a look at the cover.
Did I mention Sonny Bono is in this film? I do not want to give away the plot for those of you already on the edge of your seats to see the review rating, but I had a bad feeling about him from the get-go.
The troll king Torok haven been beaten and cast into exile by the humans ignites his scheme to turn his once douchy ass looking lands back to the way they were. The main character (a pre-pubescent boy) Harry Potter JR and his family move into a new apartment complex, the very dwelling spot of Torok. This film quickly becomes action packed when Torok takes the form and Harry’s little sister and starts terrorizing and transforming the tenants of the building into hideously gay looking troll-like figures that spawn from plant pods. How does he transform them you say? Well....basically by walking up to them really slowly while they cringe in horror as he touches them with his magical yet arousing ring.
Harry is wise to the act of Torok as he notices his sister’s unstoppable retard-like strength and 24/7 PMS rage fits. I questioned the movie for only a moment that the rest of the family took no notice. He hits puberty during the film and is drawn to a certain tenant, Toroks ex-wife, a smoking hot witch who I assumed he would beat it up with. Harry indeed spends too much of his time trying to beat it up instead of defeating the trolls before it gets out of hand...his sisters has turned almost the entire complex into shitty looking trolls, including the bitch from Seinfeld.
The climax of the film takes place when all the trolls join together in a room (now a magical forest) and serenade the viewers with what I may call the best theme song to a movie ever. If you don't enjoy this part of the film then your mind is not yet capable to understand the quality of a good theme song.
Torok in disguise as the girl befriends a midget who longs to be an elf. He grows tired of the world around him and his imperfect size, the storyline gets deep and emotional as Torok grants the midget his wish and makes him a little shorter and somehow even more atrocious.
In short, Harry defeats Torok with a spear he receives from his baby
mamma, everything goes back to the way it was and his sister looses her
roid-rage abilities and becomes herself again, she instantly notices Harry
Potter has become a man during her abduction. The End.....?
The Potter Family
Entire group of troll Douches
Harry Doesn't Beat it up
1.5 .5 without the Theme Song.